Purpose. A pocket guide for compassionate, Scripture-anchored ministry in hospital and home contexts. Adapt language to tradition and context. Protect confidentiality.
Core posture. Presence over answers; prayer over explanations (2 Cor 1:3–4; Ps 23). Speak gently, concretely, and briefly. Name hope without haste—hold sorrow and promise together (John 11:35; Rom 8:38–39).
Scripture options. Ps 23; Ps 34:18; Ps 139:13–16; Isa 41:10; Lam 3:22–23; John 11:25–26; John 14:1–3,27; Rom 8:18, 26–27, 38–39; 1 Thess 4:13–14; Rev 21:3–5.
Sensitive phrases.
“I’m here with you. We can take this one breath at a time.”
“Your love for {child/name} is clear. Love does not end.”
“It’s okay to speak their name and to feel whatever you feel.”
Avoid: “At least…,” “God needed another angel,” timelines for recovery, explanations of causality.
A. Perinatal Loss
Before entering. Quiet prayer; check parents’ wishes and cultural needs with staff.
At the bedside. Introduce gently; ask permission for touch/prayer; invite story and use the child’s name.
Honouring the child. Where permitted: footprints/handprints, a lock of hair, blanket, naming/blessing card, candle.
Short blessing.
“{Name}, we bless you and commend you to the tender mercy of God who knew you and loved you. Lord Jesus, receive this child. Surround this family with your comfort. Amen.”
Commendation / release (when parents are ready).
“God of all compassion, we place {Name} into your everlasting care. Hold {parents’ names} in your strength… Amen.”
Departing with care. Explain next steps simply; offer follow-up; provide grief resources and a written prayer.
B. End-of-Life Vigil
Preparation. Coordinate with staff/family; reduce noise; sit at eye level.
At the bedside (conscious). “May I pray or sit quietly with you?” Brief prayers for peace, forgiveness, gratitude, trust.
When death nears. Minimal words; Scripture nearby.
Commendation of the dying.
“Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant {Name}… Receive {him/her/them} into the arms of your mercy… Amen.”
At/after passing. Silence; name the reality: “{Name} has died.” Prayer for the family: “God of compassion, hold this family…”
Practical notes. Avoid speculation about unseen mechanisms; don’t contradict clinical staff; offer rituals (final blessing, Ps 23, Lord’s Prayer).
C. Trauma-informed boundaries & documentation
Confidentiality (de-identify details), compassionate precise language, follow institutional policy for any reporting; debrief after difficult cases; attend to your own grief.
Brief Liturgies (ready to use)
Short prayer for perinatal loss.
“Father of mercies, hold {parents’ names} as they grieve their child {Name}… Amen.”
Blessing for parents relinquishing the body.
“God of tenderness, as {parents’ names} entrust {Name} to the care of others… Amen.”
Prayer at the hour of death.
“Lord Jesus Christ, by your death you trampled death… Receive your servant {Name}… Amen.”
Very short commendation.
“Into your hands, O Lord, we commend {Name}. Light perpetual shine upon them. Amen.”
Follow-up (24–72 hours). Acknowledge loss, one concrete offer of help, a brief prayer; offer next-step options (funeral planning, support groups, memorial ideas).
Self-care for the chaplain. Pray a concluding prayer (e.g., Ps 131). Note one grace you witnessed. Hydrate, step outside, breathe. Keep supervision regular.